I've got a great excuse!

Here's my thing!  I can't come to your show because I have a performance of my own.  What?  You have another one tomorrow afternoon?  Sorry, I already promised Joe that I'd see his show then.  Oh, Jeez!  I guess I'm not going to be able to see yours this year.  Sorry.  I'm not picking Joe over you.  No, really, I do want to see your show.  Look, he asked first.  I know he has other ones that I could go to, but I have other things then, too.  Crap, man, I'm sorry!
 
Yep.  That's the way things go when you're stretched too thin during Fringe Festival time.  That has been the scenario for me every year for the past 4 or 5.  I'm doing a show elsewhere that isn't part of the Fringe, then I'm trying to take in a few shows in my minimal freetime, and then I'm choosing between my obligations to see many shows by my friends.  They all know I can't see them all, and yet they get ticked off that I can't see theirs specifically.
 
Well, this year, no more.  This year I'm not involved with any musicals that involve the Baldwin sisters, and I'm not teaching kids to act, sing, and dance (Actually, I just finished teaching kids to act, sing, and dance, and I may be rejoining a cast involving the Baldwins, but more on both of those situations later).  What does that mean?  I'm able to throw myself completely into the Fringe experience for the first time before the turn of the millenium.
 
I am going to go to a show in every single time slot.  That's the plan anyway... although, in truth, it isn't entirely possible, because I am appearing in one, also.  That's a first for me.  I've directed and produced Fringe shows before, but never have I acted in one.  So, in those five particular time slots I will not be attending another show...I will be attending a Fringe Show, I guess, since my lack of attendance would definitely throw a wrench in the works of the play (which, incidentally is called "Dandelion Snow" and is written by my ever-impressive compatiot in blogging Matthew A. Everett--come see it!). 
 
Up until a few weeks ago, however, I had a huge dilemma.  How to get past those friends whose shows I still didn't want to see, no matter how much I felt I owed it to them.  Let's face it, I get as excited as the next guy about the open entry policy of the Fringe (well, not the next guy, he's got a huge grin on his face that makes me worry about what he might be doing over there).  The non-juried format is what is so completely beautiful about the Fringe.  It is beautiful.  It is also frightening.  One could say it is the good, the bad, and the ugly all wrapped into one.  Some of my friends, not entirely of their own fault, get themselves into some of the worst crap ever put on anywhere, not just the Fringe.  And so, I kind of try to avoid seeing their shows, If I can absolutely help it.  But since I've been very open about my being able to attend the entire Fringe, I've been desperately searching for a way to tell them that I'm still not going to their shows.
 
So I tried to figure out a theme for this column that would involve avoiding every friend I know.  You know, something to the effect of "My column will be entirely objective, because I am not going to any shows where I know the people in them."  Then I realized that such a decision would pretty much relegate me to writing about the out-of-town shows, and that wouldn't be much fun at all, since part of the joy is getting to see what local folks are doing.
 
A side note that will make all things clear.  I love the thought of chaos.  Not in the pratical sense.  I don't want people running around and doing whatever the hell they want to the detriment of all society.  I like chaos as a theory, though.  I'm not talking the higher mathematics, per se, but the more real life applications of it.  I'm also a former gamer, one might say that I am on a temporary-to-long-term hiatus.  And nothing works better to create a controlled form of chaos than a random encounter table.  For those of you who don't speak D&D-speak, there are a lot of charts in role-playing games, and they often require a person to roll a die, or dice, to randomly determine what happens next.  And that's where I got the idea for what I'm going to do for this Fringe blog!
 
I will randomly attend a show during each time slot and thereby keep my initial pledge to do just that.  I will have with me, each day, a set of charts that represent the entire Fringe Festival and the shows available each hour.  I will roll a 20-sided die (d20) on those charts once per time slot in order to select which shows to attend.  Every show I attend will be completely randomly selected by the roll of the dice.  Yes, I realize that I will end up seeing a lot of crap, but I'll also see a lot of good shows.  Yes, there is a chance that this system will force me to see a show involving said friends who are involved in the afore-mentioned crap, but there's an even greater chance that I won't (since each show only gets 5 slots).  The odds and the chaos work to my favor.  Another interesting (to me at least) twist is that I could end up seeing the same show twice if the dice dictate it.  That would allow me the chance to see any changes that happen between one showing and another of the same thing (particularly interesting if this happens to one of the improv shows).

Before I get to the Fringe itself, I have a lot of work to do.  I'm currently compiling the charts, and I wasn't quite aware of what a pain in the butt it would be.  I've had the complete list of shows for a few weeks now, and I'm still only through the second day of the Fringe chart-wise.  I need to get a move-on in that area.
 
Up until the Fringe's launch date, I'll be keeping you posted on a few things:  #1) How my rehearsals are going.  #2) What I'm thinking about some of the shows I may or may not get a chance to see.  #3) The meaning of life in general.  #4) What a sample of my crazy whirlwind Fringing schedule might look like -- when I test the charts out.  #5) What my friends have to say in response to my telling them that after reading my column, it isn't them that I'm talking about.  
 
I'm sure there's other random crap I'll throw in there, too.
 
Anyway, now I can tell everyone that I'm not making any promises to see anything specific.  That way I don't have to worry one way or another about choosing one friend over another, or anything like that.  It's all in the hands of this d20 in my hand.