Back in the USA

Hola!

I am back stateside, and I have a lot to do. All the articles I wasn't able to over the past week or more will be compiled hereafter. Today's main task, other than getting back on an American sleep schedule, is to do all things Fringy...

I think there's an article about "Nibblers" coming your way, as well as at least 3 new articles about shows that I've not yet covered.

I'm putting together my list of top shows with numbers in the title, or in their essence (whatever that might mean -- Check back later to see!).

I am exceptionally excited to let you know that I will be stopping by the Fringe Office today, and I'll related that adventure once I'm back. That won't be until early afternoon, though. As I learned last year, Fringe Staffers aren't really morning people.

I'm finishing up my charts today, and I'll probably do a test roll either tonight or tomorrow for you guys. So you can better see how it's going to work.

Also, I've got to check out two bikes for their potential to be my Fringe Ride. Might go either way at this point. I've not ridden a bike in years. Although I have spent some time trying to teach my daughter to ride one back in June. Those lessons are about to resume. Maybe we'll talk about that some... I don't know.

I'm sure there's other stuff, too.

Now, just like during the Fringe Festival itself, I will from here on out only do the "Random Crap" section of my column in the first entry of the day. Incidentally, this is the first entry of the day...

So, Here we go!

I was searched by security in Madrid. That was fun. They took me into a small room and made me unpack everything. They then inspected it, and made me repack it all. I'm hoping it was just a random thing, because I can't imagine what would have indicated to them that I was some sort of threat.

"I got it all together and forgot where I put it!" -- From a sticker that I got out of a machine at Perkins. It amuses me. Now, I just have to figure out where to put it.

Incidentally, I do NOT recommend flying American Airlines. That's based on four flights. Two to Spain, and two on the way back. Find a different way to travel.

My mom sent a few boxes of stuff down here with my brother while I was gone. She's unloading stuff on her children because she and my dad are moving. Good thing I'm having a garage sale after the Fringe closes!

It looks like this year August might actually be hot, unlike last year. I'm happy about that.

Random Trivia from Stuie's Trivia: "The only survivor of Custer's Last Stand was his horse, Commanche." -- Well, and a whole bunch of Indians, right?

Cliff Notes for Dummies -- Part 1

So, as I promised the other day, I am expanding my investigation of theatres preparing for the Fringe. I've already written about 4 companies that are getting ready for thebig festival, and I'll be continuing to cover them, but I'm also going to add in some others that I've not yet talked about.

The first of the new batch is "Cliff Notes" for Dummies from Third Rabbit Dance Ensemble. The group is run by fellow Fringe columnist John Munger, pictured here...

The title of the show might lead you to believe that an audience member might expect to see a selection of shortened works of classic literature brought to the stage. And, in the form of three dance selections, this is true. Third Rabbit Dance Ensemble (which could have a shorter name, if they want people to keep typing it over and over!) is tackling such works as MacBeth, the Kama Sutra, and the biblical book of Genesis. But wait, there's more! Not everything in show is of that ilk. There other short works intermingled as essentially intermezzi between the longer dances.

Third Rabbit (There! I shortened it myself!) has a policy of doing accessible dance to regular people, instead of doing high-falutin' stuff. Part of the reason I chose to cover them was that I'd seen something of their before and it left a good taste in my mouth. So, I can recommend them personally. I can also mention that this is a wonderful opportunity to see the dancing of Amy Behm, who is one of the heavy hitters in the world of dance. She's a headliner quality special guest, and someone you should try to catch, if you can.

Although some of the dances will be remarkably humorous, others will be of a more serious bent. But, remember, the idea is for the dances to be enjoyed by even the freshest, first-time viewer. Serious doesn't necessarily mean confusing, especially at a Third Rabbit show.

In a few days I'll return to the topic of this show, when my one-on-one interview will be published in this same Fringe space, same Fringe channel.

Entropy here we come...Chaos please:

It was a dark and stormy night...

I understand that it is currently as hot there in Minnesota as it is in Spain this week. I'd like to share my sympathies with y'all. Incidentally, my use of that Southern word reminds me...only four of the folks that go to school with me have Northern accents of varying types. All the rest are Southerners. I'm really trying hard not to drop into their accents when I talk back to them. It happens quite often, though.

The "Bright White" paper the I bought at Target prior to coming here is oddly yellow-ish compared to the A4 paper that comes out of the college's printers. My articles and papers come out looking jaundiced compared to those of my classmates.

"Would you like to buy an O?" -- from a Sesame Street Alphabet record, circa 1977.

Is Chris ever going to give us today's bit of trivia?!: "A microwaved baseball will fly farther than a frozen baseball." -- This goes in the category of discoveries most likely made by a Frat boy with waaaay too much time on his hands.

I've made an odd discovery!

My daughter, who is 6, really likes Tim Burton movies. She just saw the new "Chocolate Factory" movie, and she's always been a big fan of Nightmare Before Christmas. She's eagerly anticipating the next claymation film that Burton is coming out with. I'm not sure if I'm a little worried about what all that means.

Blah, blah, blah.

Tantrums, Testicles and Trojans -- Part 3

With this picture, I find myself returning to the beginning of my original rotation of plays. Michael Shaffer of Tantrums, Testicles, and Trojans has been keeping me in the know about the developments of his play, and so on...

One of my favorite things about the picture, and Michael in general, is that it cam with the following D&D gamer-inspired statistics:

Character Name: Michael Shaffer
Strength: about a 13.
Intelligence: 14 (16)--actual and perceived
Wisdom: 11
Constitution: 9, due to my near-sightedness and recent eye surgery
Dexterity: 17 (I deal blackjack in the summer for extra cash)
Charisma: 15 (I'm no pageant winner, but I'm likeable and friendly)

Now, I should point out that Michael is the fella on the left in the picture. On the other side is the skull of a bear, for which he included these:

Character Name: Bear
Strength: 20
Intelligence: 11
Wisdom: 10
Constitution: 16
Dexterity: 4 (-1 on card shuffling)
Charisma: 12

Anyway, for those of you who aren't gamers, you probably didn't enjoy that halfasmuch as I did, but BEAR with me (Tee Hee!) because the charts that use thsoe stats are the ones that inspired my method of show selection for the Fringe Festival itself.

That's it for now on Michael's show... Next? Well, some random stuff I've put together for you, of course!

This little bull image is going to function as the bullet for my random section. The reasoning is two-fold. First, I am fond of it, so I just wanted to use it. Second, I figure most of the stuff at the end of these columns is a load of bull, so it is appropriate.

Now that I'm healthy again I've been packing in as many Spain-esque experiences as I can. Just in the last three days I've gone to Segovia, where I toured a castle and ate suckling pig; saw a puppet show in Retiro Park (see photos at end of this entry); took Flamenco lessons; and watched an immense fountain put on a water and light show. At some point I plan to do some homework!





I just love www.hookedonfacts.com: "The height of a bowling pin is equal to its circumference." -- Just thought you'd like to know...

Amount of change currently in my pocket: $4.26, after exchanging it back into dollars at the current rate...actually, it is 3.35 Euros

A girl actually offered to play me "the real song" when I was singing If I Were a Rich Man. Apparently pop music has effectively invalidated the wonderful thing that is Fiddler on the Roof.

Let your mom and dad know you love them...it's just a good idea.

I'm out of shampoo, and I have no idea where to get some in Spain. Do I go to a drug store, a department store, a beauty shop? I'm confused! Not to mention, I'm confused as to why I go through shampoo so quickly. I'm primarily bald, for goodness sake!

I clearly need a copy editor. This is now the fourth time that I've had to log in and fix something on this one column entry.

There was a Fringe Showcase last night! I totally missed it! If you went, I'd love to hear about it...

Getting In Shape

On of the things that I learned whilst blogging last year's Fringe was that all that running around from venue to venue can really tire a guy out, and leave no time for eating. This year I've decided to take a pack with me that not only contains my chart of plays, but also a buch of snacks. However, I've not taken any action to make sure I get less tired out yet.

Running from venue to venue on foot is exceptionally wearing on the person who isn't in as good of shape as he remembers himself being. I had that pointed out to me in a horribly painful way this morning.

I used to think I was in pretty good shape. I no longer have the nicely sculpted abs and defined quads that I did when I was running regularly, but I also don't weigh a mere 135 lbs. any more, either. Now sitting happily at 155, I have put on the little bit of added mass that often goes along with the lifestyle changes prompted by having a kid and other such things. However, I didn't think that I'd gotten so out of shape that I couldn't swim one entire lap in a swimming pool. I figured I wasn't going to be doing an immense amount of laps, but I thought one was probably within the realm of possibility. Nope. Yikes.

So here is my promise to myself, you are merely a witness to it: I will be getting in better shape over the next two weeks. At least so much that I can walk from the Loring Playhouse to the MCTC Mainstage without being winded and suffering shin splints.

Other than going swimming today in the 102 degree heat of central Spain, I also contacted a bunch of new theatres about appearing in my column over the next few days, so look for that soon...

Now, on to that which is random:

-- One show in the Fringe is titled Why Actors Can't Love. This reminds me, for whatever reason, of a bumper sticker I once saw that said, "I'm sorry. I can't. I have rehearsal."

-- Here are a couple of bullfighting pictures from this past Friday night:




-- There is a theatre troupe based out of Barcelona called "La Fura Dels Baus," which is Catalan for "The Fury of the Oxen." This company is currently presenting their version of The Magic Flute here in Madrid. From the description and pictures, it seems they do stuff very similar to Theatre de la Jeune Lune back home.

-- Don't turn that dial, you'll miss this fact!: "To take an oath, ancient Romans put a hand on their testicles...that's where the word testimony comes from." -- And so we now know that through his dancing, Michael Jackson has been testifying all along!

-- The people who cleaned my room this week took my drinking glass. That wouldn't bug me so much had it been one that the dorm had provided, but since it was one that I bought. I'm pretty irked. Not to mention that bottle of Champagne I've got up there isn't going in my tummy any faster thanks to them.

-- Pizza!

-- Mind the gap!

-- You may not know this, but the 7th letter of the Alphabet is G.

-- I know I have an odd way of selecting the Fringe shows that I attend, but what I'm wondering is if any of you have odd ways, too. If so, let me know about it, and you'll find yourself featured in this happy little blog. Cool?

So Kiss Me Already, Herschel Gertz! -- Part 2:

So... before you read any further, know that this interview is now two weeks old. I was completely out of commission, per my last post, for the better part of last week. Because of that, it is necessary to assume that the questions focusing around timeliness of certain activities may have been resolved at this point. However...may be not... I guess we'll never know. Anyway, this is an interview between myself, and Amy Salloway who is doing her show So Kiss Me Already, Herschel Gertz! in this year's fringe festival. As I've written earlier, and elsewhere (http://fringe1234.blogspot.com), Amy has taken her show fomr lasst year on the road...

Q: What is touring a Fringe Show like?

A: Fantastic. Exhilarating. Exhausting. It’s a tremendous amount of work – planning participation in four Fringes besides our own, which is basically what I did last year and this year, is the equivalent of having another part-time job. It’s also expensive, and I’ve had to make some really, really hard decisions (like dropping out of Fringes I’d wanted to go to) based on whether I truly think the opportunity will be financially viable – for example, when I lost my job this past year smack in the middle of planning my Fringe sequence, I had to cut back how many places I could go – I couldn’t afford them all anymore. For that matter, last year I was also accepted into a Fringe I was dying to go to and had my office (the one that later laid me off) tell me I couldn’t go, because it didn’t jive with their schedule. So – it’s hard. It’s hard to manage all the details and parameters. It’s hard to maintain the energy to keep marketing and publicizing and contacting papers and reviewers and flyering and putting yourself out there, over and over – with way more pressure than one might feel at our Fringe, because elsewhere, you’re not local – you can’t slack off, thinking “Eh, they know me here.” That producing aspect is something I wish, in my fantasy life, that someone else would do for me. But the actual performing side – being in new places, meeting other actors from all over, getting to see their shows, experiencing all kinds of different audience aesthetics and dynamics, watching yourself adapt to a multitude of situations, watching a city come alive in this funky, creative theatre event – all of that is a blast. It is utterly addictive. I say it over and over – touring a Fringe show is like going to theater summer camp all over again, but this time as a grown-up.

Q: Who the hell is Herschel Gertz?

You’ll have to see the show to find that out.

Q: Last year you were at the Jungle at very odd times compared to the rest of the festival, how will this year be different? Better or worse?

I had NO problem with being at the Jungle at odd times – that was actually awesome for me, because my solo show then didn’t conflict with any of the spoken word shows. That also happened because the Jungle was being a satellite venue, and not a regular Fringe venue, and had to work around their mainstage show (The Dazzle). This year they’re a normal Fringe venue …except actually, my show times are still weird! I have almost ENTIRELY day time shows – 1:00s and 2:00s…my showtimes are perfect for the Senior crowd.

Q: You are participating in the Spoken Word fringe again. Can you give us a hint as to what your story will be about?

A: The theme of The Pope Stole My Pretzel! is ‘encounters with celebrity’ – or ‘celebrities’ – and I THINK – though I’m not sure – that I’m going to write about the first and only time an AGENT actually called me to audition for a MOVIE – I got called to audition for the role of an obese prostitute in an HBO film. Oh – let me clarify -- a TOPLESS obese prostitute.

Q: I know about last year, but how far back does your Fringe history go, and what’s it been like?

A: I started doing Fringes when I lived in Seattle – the first year I participated was probably 1994? I’ve been an actor in other people’s shows, and twice in Seattle I produced Fringe shows as well – I directed Only You one year, and I co-wrote, directed and acted in a seven-woman, collaborative ensemble piece in either 1994 or 1995 (I can’t remember) called Size of Discontent, that was also about body image and the beauty myth. That was another exhausting yet exhilarating experience. It ATE my life for about four solid months – I hope to NEVER be that sleep-deprived again – but it was a fantastic project and an amazing catalyst in my life, both personally and artistically.

I started participating in the Minnesota Fringe in 2002, first by acting in other people’s shows and running the Spoken Word Fringe, then by writing my own pieces.

Q: Do you like Canada?

A: I LOVE Canada. But really…who DOESN’T love Canada?

Q: What is the next thing that you have to do to get ready for the Fringe, in the immediate future (rewrite, print postcards, write promotional blurb, buy costume, etc.)?

A: Write the mother$%#ing show.

Q: What’s been the hardest thing about getting ready for the Fringe thus far?

A: Writing the mother%$#ing show.

Q: Will you be hanging out at Fringeville this year?

Not if I don’t write the mother#$&ing show.

Q: What are you reading this summer?

A: I just finished I’m Not The New Me, by Wendy McClure. I’m almost done with Marya Hornbacher’s The Center of Winter, and I’m almost done with Truth and Beauty, by Ann Patchett. But I shouldn’t be reading. I should be (all together now)

Writing the Mother%$#ing Show!


ALL RIGHTY THEN... Time for a bit of good old fashioned trivial banter about whatever:

-- Today is the first day that I've really been able to enjoy Spain, and I've been here for 9 days now. As I walked back from class I was able to notice the leaves on each of the trees. It was cool. Not a one looked familiar to me, but at the same time they were all similar to trees that we have back home in MN. There's a tree that has a leaf in the same general shape as the Maple tree. It's slightly different, and the seeds aren't those cool helicopter things that we all chased as kids. This tree's seeds are held inside a spikey little ball about the same size as a cherry. Anyway, it's a good to be infused with that Zippity-doo-dah feeling again. YAY!

-- Anyone wanna learn somehing new from http://www.hookedonfacts.com?: "Justin Timberlake's half-eaten french toast sold for over $3,000 on eBay!" -- Now that's about as trivial as trivia can get.

-- If you travel to Spain, and you find that it is oppressively hot, don't say "Soy muy Caliente!" That means you're horny. Unless you are, then I guess you can go ahead and say it. You'd actually want to use the words "mucho calor," but really, don't say that either. It's a waste of breath. Everyone here is hot. Saying it is like saying "I'm alive." Uh-huh, that's nice.

-- I had ten fingers and ten toes, when last I counted.

-- I'm missing my lunch hour to type this up. That was sort of bad timing on my part.

-- I miss my cats, but I find it much easier to type without them scratching at my arms and sitting on my keyboard, so there are some advantages of not being around them.

-- Boo! Did I scare you?

General apology

... Filed under Excuses

I'd like to take a brief moment to issue an open apology to anyone and everyone who has been reading my column regularly. I know I've disappeared for a week. I've been deathly ill for the majority of my time over here in Spain, so I've not been at the computer doing much of anything.

I have an interview with Amy Salloway that I'll be putting up sometime today, and a little ditty about the In The Basement Productions show Talking With...

At this point I'll be abandoning my originally planned schedule of writing about certain shows each week, and just try to make sure that I get reports out as often as I can about those shows and others.

Again I'm sorry for the absence. Also, I apologize for there being no random crap at the end of this post, but I'm really not up to it at the moment... more after my nap.
—Chris Kidder

Why, oh why?!

... Filed under Fringe Prep

AUTHOR's NOTE... this entry is actually from sometime back in June, and appeared on last year's blog site... http://fringe1234.blogspot.com, which is where you can currently find any of the "Fringe By Numbers" things prior to July 5th. Hereafter all new entries will be posted here.
And here we go...

As a theatre person (read: actor, director, playwright, etc.), it is virtually impossible to see all the shows in which your friends are involved. That's fine. Everyone knows that, and it is accepted practice to tell your friends that you couldn't make a show because you were in a show (or, in rehearsals) yourself. That's normally what I have to tell my friends when I miss a production that they had invited me to see. However, the Fringe Festival is a time in which one show doesn't ever have exactly the same show times as any other, so time-slot conflicts aren't really a legitimate excuse for missing a show. It is even worse when your entire involvement with the Fringe is as a columnist/blogger/reviewer. That's the situation in which I've found myself over the last couple of years.

So, that means that I can catch all the shows that my friends are in during the Fringe, right? Well, theoretically, yes. Although my own show doesn't conflict with their shows, it is always possible that the one time-slot in which I could see a friend's show is booked with attendance at another friend's show. So, now I find myself in a predicament. I have to choose between friends. Which one is more important? Which one will be okay with being brushed off? Which one is in a show that doesn't sound like it will suck like a Hoover?

It's that last question that gets me into trouble. You see, I have friends who make bad choices. Continuously. Not all of my friends are lumped together in this statement. Basically only one or two of them. And those two lovely ladies, who I would die for, if need be, often ask me to attend their shows. I occasionally attend entirely out of support, but the shows are dreadful...just dreadful. So, when I get the invitation to see a show that they are doing in the Fringe, I look for whatever excuse I can to avoid having to take in another bout of oh-goodness-I-need-to-gouge-my-eyes-out-this-is-so-bad!

The solution? Whip up some charts and randomly attend shows according to how the die rolls. That's right. I avoid playing favorites; I avoid making choices entirely. My excuse to my friends is this..."I'm sorry, I don't know if I can make it or not. If the dice will let me, then I'll be there. If not, then I'll have to catch one of your other shows some other time." It's beautiful. It's true. And that makes it even more beautiful.

So, about this time last year I got a PDF file from the folks at the Fringe office by way of fellow LXF member Matthew Everett. Which, I've done again this year. I then compiled charts similar to those in Dungeons & Dragons books (or any other gaming book). Which, I've started to do again this year. Thereafter, I updated the charts once the Fringe program came out in the City Pages. Which, I foresee myself doing again this year.

Once I had the charts complete I rolled for my first show. Then for each show thereafter I would roll once I arrived at the show prior. Wow, that sentence was confusing. Let's try again... I rolled for the first show before the festival, since it didn't matter when I rolled. It was at the Illusion. I went there, sat in the audience next to the lovely Christy DeSmith (freelance reviewer), and rolled the die to see what I'd be seeing next immediately before the first show started. That was my modus operandi throughout the Festival. Get to one show, roll for the next. Lather, rinse, repeat.

That plan functioned pretty well, and it would've meant that I would get to see a veritable treasure trove of plays. 40 or 50-some plays, in fact. And the beauty of it is that I'd see some plays that I would otherwise not choose to see. And sometimes I would be surprised at the quality of what I was seeing, thereby uncovering a few unexpected gems. Unfortunately there were a couple of road blocks in my way. First was the fact that I was acting in a Fringe Show. That meant that I was unable to attend all the Fringe Shows I wanted to. Also, I had just rejoined the cast of Carmen at Theatre de la Jeune Lune. That took me away from the festival a bunch, too. Not to mention that I was just starting my gig as Assitant Director of Christmas of Swing at the Great American History Theatre, which was holding callbacks on two nights of the Festival. My schedule was a mess. I only saw plays in about half of the time-slots because of it being that way.

So, this year, I've got the charts going. I've got my d20 (20-sided die). I'm arranging for "Fringe Buddies" to join me on the wild journey. And most importantly, I'm not doing anything in August until after the Fringe Festival closes. I'm doing nothing during the Fringe but Fringing...and that feels good!

I'm even looking into buying a bicycle for the event. It's only been 10 years since I was last on one (not counting the fake ones at Bally's). Should be interesting. I'm currently trying to teach my daughter to ride a bike. Goodness knows it'll be doubly interesting having to re-teach myself, as well.

I guess that's pretty much it. So... Time for Random Bits:

-- Ginger Altoids are a wonderful thing. I'm not sure if they are helping my sore throat, or not, but I want to believe that they are. I have an audition this weekend that's going to require me to sing well, and I need this throat thing to go away before then.

-- I have four rolls of film to take to be developed. Since the advent of digital photography, it has become much more difficult for me to drive some place to have my photos processed. Of course, that means that I don't get the pictures as quickly, since I am procrastinating. At some point I think I'll need to switch entirely to digital. For whatever reason I have some emotional attachment to B&W film in a legitimate SLR camera. It's hard to let go to old technology sometimes. One merely has to peruse my collection of record albums on vinyl to see what I mean.

-- From www.hookedonfacts.com: "One punishment for an adulterous wife in medieval France was to make her chase a chicken through town naked. " -- I'm not sure why, but that just amuses me to no end. What it accomplished, I can't even imagine, but it sure must've been funny to see!

-- "There is bound to be some animosity in the beginning." -- from The American Animal Hospital Association Encyclopedia of Cat Health and Care, regarding introducing a second cat into a household...but when you take the time to ponder it, that statement holds true in so many situations.

-- There are 11 days until I fly to Spain.

-- There are 7 empty Gatorade bottles next to me. It is really a pain trying to rehydrate the sick on what is supposed to be the hottest day of the year. Aargh!

—Chris Kidder

The Mockery -- Part 2

Hola amigos y amigas! I have just wrapped up my first session of "Creative non-Fiction Workshop," which I am taking over here in Spain with Lee Gutkind, founder and editor of Creative Non-Fiction magazine. Coming out of the class, I find myself inspired to write my column. Today is Wednesday, and that means it's time for The Mockery.

Here's the long-distance interview that I conducted with director/playwright Christina Akers:


Q: What gave you the idea for this play?

A: Funny story... one day I was sitting in a Geology lecture at the U and finding it very hard to pay attention. Thinking it more rude to fall asleep than just not pay attention, I started to write something to pass the time, (having experience with writing stories since I was 8 years old). Though this time I started only thinking about the characters and what makes a unique persona. I began writing some descriptions based on some of the people I've known all my life, taking their most outstanding traits and blowing them out of proportion. I focused on their relationships to one another and their quirks more than anything. For the next few months I focused on these characters that evolved, imaging them in various scenarios and letting that form the shape of the play to come. I knew it had to be a musical because these characters were so expressive that to deny them the conventions of the musical would only limit their ability to communicate. After entering a playwriting class at the U, I then began to write the story centered around who I saw as the epicenter of all this madness, the King of France. From this I had a shortened version of The Mockery, which I put aside for about 6 months and then expanded upon in the beginning of 2004. From there it went into 2 workshops and then the full production that we did last fall through The X. Through all of this, it continued to be a character exercise for me, and even now we're discovering more about each of these characters and what makes them tick, both individually and as a group.

Q: When you decided to do this as a Fringe show, what was your motivation (workshop it further? Get it noticed by other producers? Something else?)?

A: My motivation to work with Fringe was to continue this character and textually work on the piece. Each group of actors I've worked with, (be it reading, workshop, or full production), has allowed me some new discovery for the text. Also, being Fringe, it will allow the piece to be seen by a much larger and broader audience, giving me a chance to see if the piece truly works for the public.

Q: Are there any unique challenges working with a new cast on something you've directed once before?

A: The biggest challenge for me anytime I direct something I've worked on before is not putting an expectation on the work. Having fairly successful tryouts with the work before, I want to apply a lot of the conventions and ideas we first established to this performance, though with new actors, the chemistry between these individuals will dictate a lot of what we do, especially since I like to let everyone play in rehearsal as much as possible. For example, this past week in rehearsal I was working with the King of France and his wife Kleptinya, (played by Stephen Jahn & Devon Novy), and just after making their entrances I realized that their relationship was taking an entirely different direction than I had ever explored before. Immediately I had to throw out the ideas of work I had done before with this relationship and start to embrace their new approach. Often times this is hard for me, throwing away something that originally worked so well, but I find comfort in working with these individuals and seeing the brilliant new choices that are being made from these new ideas that are presented.

Q: Why a mime? Are you ever tempted to beat them up?

A: Why a mime? Because he is our "unsung hero" in this musical. Really, the mime serviced the play by being someone the King could have an affair with, but who would not talk about what happened or tell anyone about the King's lies. Also, he was the biggest "artist" of the traveling caravan, or at least the most unique! And no, I never attempted, or had the urge to attempt, to beat one up!

Q: Have you ever been involved with a Fringe Show before? If so what ones?

A: I was a part of Fringe NYC in 2003, where I performed in a cabaret performance where I also had a chance to write and direct. My written contribution to the piece was a story called Little Red Hoe From The Hood. It was a warped retelling of Little Red Riding Hood where she became a snotty teen who hired the cross-dressing wolf to kill Granny for the insurance money. I also had an internship with the Fringe in New York through work I did with NYU.

Q: What is the next thing that you have to do to get ready for the Fringe, in the immediate future (rewrite, print postcards, write promotional blurb, buy costume, etc.)?

Right now it is most important to me to get working in rehearsal. Though I am currently adding the finishing touches to the postcard layout and will be having these printed up next week. Also, we'll have some more publicity calls/emails to make and some posters to put up. I just finished some rewrites which developed after talks with the new cast, and I talked to original costume designer Michal Mann about how we will throw together a wardrobe with basically no budget! We do have many of the pieces from the last show, and some new things are coming up that we hope to find within the ensemble. Also, and perhaps very importantly, we need to finish our casting! We have one female role left to cast and are meeting with 2 women next week, so if things go well, we'll have a full cast soon and can focus on the work in rehearsal.

Q: What's been your favorite thing about getting ready for the Fringe thus far?

A: My favorite part about getting ready for The Fringe is just having the opportunity to get ready for The Fringe! Again, working with this piece again gives me more workshop time, more practice working with it as a director, and allows the work to be seen by a much different audience. Also, I'm very excited to have the opportunity to work with my talented new cast, as well as working in the Bryant-Lake Bowl, which I've discovered to be a tremendous theatrical space!

Q: What was your favorite class at the U this past term?

A: Having scheduled my classes just so, I was able to keep EVERYTHING in the theatre and music department, so I immensely enjoyed everything I did. Outstanding in my mind is the work I've done with Lou Bellamy in his advanced directing class, Aleksandra Wolska in her Alchemy of the object class, as well as the work I've done in class and on this project with Luverne Seifert. He's worked with me on this piece since I started with it in the workshop at the U, and he's been incredibly insightful along the way, helping me out as much as he can and offering an educated opinion.

Q: What are you reading this summer?

A: I've actually attached a study with Luverne through the U of M to this project, and I am also using it as a precursor study to work I hope to contribute to my honors thesis this Fall, so I have some reading that's involved to the "study" of things, but on a more personal level I am trying to educate myself more about Commedia del arte, so I'm looking at some things by Dario Fo & Jacques Lecoq, then I'm checking out some more modern script commedia pieces like Commedia Americana by Jules Tasca and The Love of Three Oranges by Hillary Depiang.

And so we conclude today's column with our daily dose of absurdly random topics:

• About 5 minutes into class this morning I got something stuck in my eye. I thought it was an eyelash, but I wasn't able to see it when I looked in the mirror, so maybe not... Anyway, class has to be temporarily put on hiatus while I went and flushed out my eye. I thought that I'd gotten the thing (what ever it might have been) out, but apparently not, because I'm still dealing with a very teary, very painful eye right now. It's really hard to focus on anything when you're in this condition. Incidentally that's the communal meaning of the word "you." I have no idea if you, specifically, have a hard time focusing when your eye is irritated. If you don't, I'm jealous of you. I know, it's an odd thing to be jealous about, but if you were suffering my current agony you'd identify, I'm sure.
• I don't often buy the Cappucino stuff that they sell at convenience stores. That's for two reasons. 1) It's fake crappy tasting stuff, and 2) caffeine and I don't get along too well any more. That being said, I found a Cafe con Leche machine over here and decided to try it because it was 45 cents for a cup. It was magical! I don't remember how much one of those drinks costs stateside, but this was such a wonderful deal.
• Bippity-boppity-boo!
• "Mary had a little lamb! But not like this. We can toss and turn, rumble, tumble, and twist." -- Heavy D and the Boyz, Now That We Found Love
• What would we do without trivia from www.hookedonfacts.com?: "Babies that are breastfed are more likely to be slimmer as adults than those that are not breastfed. " -- Milk, it does the body good!
• I'm really looking forward the the Fringe Prom. Since there's a Fringe Button discount at Ragstock, I'm just dying to know how many guys are going to show up in Powder Blue tuxedoes. You'll help me count, won't you?

Nibblers: A Musical with Sharks -- Part 2

Much the same as yesterday's column, I put forth here for your enjoyment and enlightenment the contents of an online interview with Joy Donley, director of Front Porch Theatre. In the tradition of modern reporters writing in rags like Rolling Stone, etc. I will not be putting forth a well-written article here. Instead, I merely let the questions and answers speak for themselves. It's journalism at its laziest!


Q: This question is really for Brook (the playwright). This started as a story for your children. How old were they when told this story for the first time?

A: Yes, this is a question for Brook. And I asked him this. He told me that his youngest daughter was about 8 years old at the time. The story at that time was about a little girl who got lost in a mall and whose parents go crazy looking for her. They get the police involved and the entire mall is in an uproar. What nobody realizes is that the little girl is right in front of their noses because she ends up dancing in the mall's ballet parade. (Can you see how this was a story for a little girl? who likes ballet?) Brook also said that for about 15 years he's had the urge to write a musical about a "fractured" family in a mall, where the children end up somehow getting the family back together again. Thus the baseline story of Nibblers was born.

Q: Is there any significance behind "Front Porch" as a name for your company?

A: You know--you are the FIRST person to ask me that! I'm so glad you did! Yes, it does have significance. I think of a front porch as being a place where strangers make their first acquaintance with the owner of the house. They linger on the front porch and have light conversation. Then, if the person is wanting to know the owner a little more deeply, they'll come inside the house, instead of just lingering on the porch. Inside, the owner and stranger can get to know each other in a deeper way, asking questions more thought-provoking than those of the front porch chit-chat. I like this as metaphor for theatre. It's my hope that my audience will step onto the "front porch" (by attending a show), and then, move from the simple sheer enjoyment of the show, "into the house"--the inside--and discover deeper meanings/thought/feelings that the show may have revealed to them. Another, perhaps less philosophical take on it would be: get the audience's butts-in-seats (i.e. get 'em on the front porch); then provide them with something that will draw them in, further, to either... a) the universal meaning of the play; or...b) the significance the play had to/for them; or last but not least...c) theatre in general. I've played with a sort of byline that says, "Front Porch Theatre....come on over to the house!" I'm sure you get the double meaning.

Q: Are there any unique challenges working with your spouse?

A: Yes. The challenge of childcare!

Q: You have kids in your show... do you allow their parents to attend rehearsals?

A: I am all for having parents attend rehearsals, if they want to, and of course--if their child wants them to! So far in Nibblers, the parents haven't stuck around too much for rehearsals.

Q: This is your 4th Fringe show in as many years, what makes this voyage down Fringe Lane different?

A: Ah--BIG difference: this show is absolutely, completely, BRAND-NEW! It's still being written! I haven't had the experience of directing a show that's changing daily, until now. But it's an absolute kick! I told my actors at the first rehearsal that the exciting thing about being a part of this production is that the writers (Mike and Brook) now have each of them in mind as they write, and therefore can use what they know of each actor's strengths and/or idiosyncracies. In fact, prior to auditions, the show had been written to have 4 male shark characters. But after callbacks we realized the show would be better with a woman shark as the sort of "queen bee" to the others. Like Gladys Knight to the Pips. And then, by realizing that, it gave a whole new dimension to the shark's style--both musically and visually. So, it's been a fascinating, winding, creative voyage this year! Brook and Mike are planning to extend the running time of the show, after the Fringe is over, in order to make it a full-scale production. The Fringe will be a good test audience in terms of Nibblers success and longevity elsewhere.

Q: I have a 6-year old daughter who loves Underwater Adventures at the mega mall. How would you explain the small child's fascination with Sharks?

A: Good question. I think I said something about this in the press release, that there's mystery and danger about them--but yet they seem sort of fragile. I took a trip last week to Underwater Adventures, sans my kids, and spent quite awhile petting a stingray. It blew me away that the creature was unbelievably soft. Imagine--a creature called a STINGray (sting? doesn't that hurt??) could be one of the softest things you've ever felt! My childish instincts of just wanting to pick it up and squeeze it quickly came out! That's the best explanation I can give. I'll ask my 7 year old and see what she says.

Q: What is the next thing that you have to do to get ready for the Fringe, in the immediate future (rewrite, print postcards, write promotional blurb, buy costume, etc.)?

A: Just today I finalized the re-design of my website (www.frontporchtheatre.com). AND I approved the final design on my postcards. AND I sent in my accident waivers to the Fringe office. AND I worked on set and props lists. AND I researched Motown dancing.
This week I will get my pre-blocking notebook done for our rehearsals on stage next week, and I will get my costume sew-ers to begin sewing. I'm also waiting for Brook and Mike to re-write a song from the middle of the show!

Q: You've had some pretty big names/Equity actors/Small-Theatre-Mafia regulars in your shows in the past, but I don't personally recognize any of the names this time around, can you tell me about some of your actors?

A: I'm very happy to be working with some wonderful child actors this time around. Emilee Hassanzadeh is a delightful, gutsy-voiced actress who has appeared at the Chanhassen, CTC, and Stages over the past couple of years. Emilee is 9 years old and has the lead role of Greta in Nibblers. Also, Michael Mayer, a 12 year old from the MN Boychoir and the History Theatre, is playing the lead role of "Hans" and is simply a treat to listen to and to watch. Now I just have to teach him Dance Dance Revolution...I'm also happy to be working with Suz Adamson again. Suz played "Mrs. Mayor of Whoville" last year in my Fringe production of Seussical. This time around she plays "Shania," the great white shark from Underwater Adventures who wants to make a name for herself by being the first shark in captivity to eat a small child. Oops--did I give something away?

Q: Do you think people might accidentally go to Jaws: The Musical instead of your show, or vice versa?

A: Our show is rated G. Okay, maybe PG.
And in the words of Shania Shark:
"Flipper was a trip
Johnny Depp--a dear
Steven Spielberg--very close--I gave him his career."

Q: What are you reading this summer?

A: Now THERE's a question! I've been ever so slowwwwwwwwwly reading Jayber Crow by Wendell Berry. But I can't wait to get to my brand new Anne Lamott book.

-- So, there's a bit of insight into the world of Nibblers. Incidentally, a little chunk of one of the songs can be heard on the July 1st edition of the Fringe Podcast.

And now for something surprisingly expected, considering it's supposed to be random!...

• I woke up at 10 a.m. this morning... That's the first time that's happened in years! Normally I get up around 6:50, and that's sleeping in by the standards that used to affect me. You see, my daughter has never been into sleeping in, in fact, 5:30 in the morning has been her norm in the waking department since she first slept through the night back during that infancy period. Recently I've managed to get her to watch TV for an hour or so while I continue sleeping. That was a huge victory in and of itself. After all, who wants to have a small child yell at you from close range that it's time to wake-up? Anyway... the fact that I was tired from my trip, and that the alarm on my cell phone wasn't apparently loud enough to raise me from slumber means that I enjoyed sleeping in. I honestly don't remember the last time I did that.
• I'm hungry. I slept through breakfast!
• My blog is not going to be residing here much longer. It's being added back into the mix at www.fringefestival.org. It's taken a little while, but one has to tak ingot account that sometimes things take longer then we'd like, especially since Fringe Webmaster Matthew Foster has so much to do about this time of year. He's a very busy boy, and he's doing a bang-up job with the website on the whole... if you haven't checked out the Fringe website got to www.fringefestival.org. It's the best it's been so far.
• Look what I found at www.hookedonfacts.com: "Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. " -- First, I'd like to say "I'm sorry" to all you lefties out there. Second, what does this mean for those who are ambidextrous? Are they expected to live the average length of the other two?
• Today's Spanish Word/Term that I've just discovered out of necessity is: Cinta Adhesiva Invisible = Scotch Tape
• "I see the moon. The moon sees me. Over the mountains and over the sea." -- Lyrics from the children's song "I See the Moon."
• When I typs in www.google.com over here it instantly takes me to www.google.es, whether or not I want to go there. I need to figure out how to get to the English version of it, because I'm not able to read the Spanish one with any sort of proficiency yet.

Tantrums, Testicles, and Trojans -- Part 2

Last week I sent each of the directors of the shows that I'm profiling a questionaire. Each is slightly different, and tailored for the show it is about. That way you can get a better idea about each show, and the people who are making it happen.

Today's installment is about Empty S Productions' late-night offering, which we will be hearing about every Monday until the Fringe Festival:

And, Without Further Ado... On to the interview:


Q: What prompted you to start doing "slam" poetry?

A: Cynthia French was my advisor/mentor last June when I first started contacting her via email about the slams at Kieran's. I was in Minneapolis from Alaska for the summer, and I wanted something fun to do. She was and continues to be very encouraging to me and many other local poets. I made it into the final round at my first slam that June. It was a props slam. My Rice Krispy box, three raw eggs (which I consumed), and a crumpled picture of Kurt Cobain fared well with the judges that night, and I was hooked.

Q: Is there any significance behind "Empty S" as a name for your company?

A: My name is Michael Thomas Shaeffer. Empty S is a take on my initials, MTS. Goddamn, I'm clever.

Q: What do you miss most about Alaska? What are you glad to be away from?

A: I miss the midnight sun in the summer. I would play poker with friends until four in the morning, and it would still be light out. My pockets would be light by that time, too. My roommate owned a two-passenger plane. We would go for joyrides north of the Arctic Circle and buzz the caribou. What was tough about living in those remote villages was being 500 miles away from the nearest Arby's, movie theatre, and bar. I had to substitute moose for my roast beef fix. It just wasn't the same.

Q: Are you still going to be an educator here?

A: I was planning on taking a short break from education, but if any administrator reads this and wants to hire a full-time drama instructor based on my charming responses, I am sure we could work something out.

Q: What were the past Fringe Shows you've been in, and what were the companies that produced them?

A: Frantic Garden produced Give Me the Good Stuff in 2002. That ran at the Women's Club of Minneapolis. I directed that show back-to-back with my original production of Cramming Cassandra, A Crashed Course in Greek Mythology, back in 2002. Last year, I was approached to direct The Cat in the Coffin or 28 Days in Pet Loss Therapy. We did that at the MCTC with a real dog in the show. The dog preferred roast beef to moose, too.

Q: As a solo performer, are you working with a director, or do you rehearse alone?

A: I have hired a technician who comes highly recommended by her theatre peers. Tammie Weinfurtner will provide input for me as we tweak the lighting and sound cues, but before our tech, I will mostly rehearse alone. Private shows are available. I'll work for Guinness.

Q: What is the next thing that you have to do to get ready for the Fringe, in the immediate future (rewrite, print postcards, write promotional blurb, buy costume, etc.)?

A: Sit ups. Many more sit ups. That's because of the roast beef and Guinness, I fear. I won't do much more revising of the show. It's been pretty tight for about a month now. I have a friend, Deb Howard, who works for Daktronics. She is using her skills as a graphic artist to help create a program and postcards for the show. I will be working these next few weeks to contact other Fringers and bloggers and theatrically inclined to come stay up late with my show.

Q: Is it worth the hassle, thus far, of being a late-night show (finding your own tech, etc.)?

A: True dat. I love the night life. I like to boogie.

Q: What are you reading this summer?

A: I am reading Ilium by Dan Simmons. It's a retelling of Homer's Illiad set on Mars. It's got Achilles and Hector, but no Bender thusfar.

-- And there we have it! Now, before we hit the random stuff, I should put this out there...on my last two days stateside I was unable to write my column due to the fact that I was dealing with car troubles (flat tire one day, someone broke into it the next!)... So I'll be picking up an extra article sometime this week about Talking With... which is being presented by In The Basement Productions. Also, since I have time on the weekends, I'll be adding some short feature articles on other shows that aren't part of my initial five. So, if you have a potential favorite show that you'd like me to cover, give me a holler.

Now for them random bits:

• My daughter calls exclamation points I-mean-its. That means if a sentence reads: I like cats!!! She reads it as "I like cats. I mean it. I mean it. I mean it."
• I spent 8.5 hours on a flight from Miami to Madrid with 30+ high school students. And you know what? When the captain got on the speaker and told them to all sit down and put on their seatbelts, they did! What's sad is that the adults who were with them never followed the instructions at all! Great example you're setting, people!
• Here's a fact from www.hookedonfacts.com: "If you were to roll a lung from a human body and out flat it would be the size of a tennis court." -- EEewww! Hey! Maybe this means that the heart shouldn't be the symbol of love. The lungs should be. Well, at least the symbol of 30-Love! I'm so sorry to everyone who just read that, really, I am.
• I've been in Spain for one whole day thus far, and I've already had three dishes (2 at lunch and 1 at supper) that contained pork. Tomorrow's menu looks to have a similar ratio. I'm thinking that it's gotta be really hard to keep kosher in Madrid.
• "Crisp, cool scent leaves you feeling refreshed" -- text from the back of a box of Irish Spring Icy Blast soap.
• I like the coins that I'm carrying around right now. The smallest bill that they've got over here is the 5 Euro bill. There's a 2 Euro and a 1 Euro coin. I think for the gold dollars to have really taken off, the US would've had to have gotten rid of the One Dollar bill. I'm glad that the $2 bill is still around, incidentally. Every once in a while I like going and getting 100 of them and spending them exclusively for all my purchases. Makes people react, I can tell you that.

So Kiss Me Already, Herschel Gertz! -- Part 1

One of the most beautiful things about the Fringe Festival is that a show can be done by people who actually think to themselves, "I could write a show, and put it on! Wouldn't that be great?!" For those who go through that method of show submittal, the process often goes like this:

1. Attend Fringe Festival as audience member (Early August)
2. Get the feeling that "Hey, I could do that!" (Early August, the same day)
3. Go home and start writing play. (Mid-August)
4. Register for Fringe Festival. (November-February, depending on procrastination factor)
5. Go through Hell trying to figure out how to produce a play for the first time ever. (April-July)
6. Put up show in Fringe Festival (Early August)

It's a one year process in that case. For Fringe veteran and storyteller extraordinaire Amy Salloway, the process has been drastically different from that this year. First, she was in at least two shows in last year's Fringe (one of her own and then one installment of the Spoken Word Fringe), so step one and two were already out the window. But it is step three that is where Amy has deviated most notably from the above list. When she replied to my e-mail about writing this series of articles last week, this was her candid admission, "I am sitting in a cafe trying to work on my fringe production right now. It's still not written -- like, not even a little! AUUUGH!"

Last week was late June, right? Just checking. 6 weeks to the festival and not a page of script finished! As a playwright and director, that scares me. And yet, because she is experienced in spinning a yarn or two, I imagine that she could do a solid show just from her notes.

It isn't like Ms. Salloway didn't have other stuff to do. She not only registered for this Fringe, she's been taking a show around to other ones as well (I'm assuming that she's been touring her last year's Fringe Show, although I don't know. We'll find out more on that next week.). Her Fringe dockett has included (or will shortly include) Cape May, Cincinnati, Halifax and Berkshire. That's a busy girl, to say the least.

I am looking forward to sharing more with you about this show, as it is bound to be hot off the presses when I write about it next week, you'll be getting your info like a true industry insider! Or, something like that...

Chaos is our friend:

• My left front tire was flat this morning when I tried to take my daughter to school. Now I'm going to spend the better part of my day sitting at a tire shop. Fun!
• I'm hungry.
• Have you ever wondered what it's like to be a sloth?
• 3 days 'til I'm an international traveler!
• Something from www.hookedonfacts.com: "Oenophobia is the Fear of wines." -- I was going to try to come up with something clever here, but the fact is, that is just silly to begin with.
• "Her agreement proves his point--but there is a reason." -- pg. 186, The Art of Dramatic Writing by Lajos Egri
• I've often listed song lyrics here, but NOT TODAY!
• Last night at the Co-op I purchased carbonated juice. It is 100% juice that has carbonation added to it. Sort of a healthy soda-pop. The brand is "The Switch." I bought three flavors, and I am remarkably pleasantly surprised by the Watermelon Strawberry. Not a flavor I would normally have thought to be good. It is one that I selected with the tastebuds of a 6 year-old in mind. Maybe I'm just a big kid, but it is tasty!

The Mockery -- Part 1

A little over a week ago as I was driving to see Batman Begins I answered my cell phone and found myself in a lovely conversation with Christina Akers, the director and playwright of the upcoming Fringe show, The Mockery. Because I was driving at the time, I wasn't able to take copious notes on the back-and-forth, so I'm going to keep the details in today's column a bit vague and general so I don't get any of the info wrong.

First off, here's something I can't get wrong... a photo having to do with the production, provided by the director:

Now, from the photo, I can't really tell you what the play is about, but it is something interesting to look at, isn't it? From what I know about the show the back drop pieces are related to Paris, France. That would be because the plot revolves aroudn the King of France, and an affair that he conducts with a mime. There's more to it than that, but again, my details can't be too specific today. Next Wednesday specificity will abound, I promise! Not only did Ms. Akers send me some photographs, she also sent me a copy of the script that I'll be perusing before next week's column, as well.

Let me share what else I do know... A shorter version of this play debuted last year at the Xperimental Theatre at the University of Minnesota. While a handful of the original cast is still involved, this production will feature a bunch of new folks as well. This is a piece of musical theatre, and it will be performed at the BLB, which means that the show will be 90 minutes long. The original script that Akers has been working on for a couple of years now is longer yet, and so this is an editted down version of the story as she originally envisioned it. However, since a whopping 30 minutes are being added back in for the Fringe, this is closer to that original vision than her "X" production was.

Akers is currently enrolled at the University, so if you want to see some of the products of the program there, this show would be one to catch. I for one always like to see what new talent is coming out of our local schools. It is fun to catch a diamond in the rough. The Fringe is a good place to do that anyway, but productions from people who are currently students are doubly filled with that potential.

More to come on Wednesday next!

Only a brief moment of randomness:

• I'm waaaaaay behind on my reading that I have to have done before Iarrive in Spain. The only good thing that I've got going for me at the moment is a 10-hour layover in Miami, so I'll be able to get a good chunk of reading done then. But, really, I'm still way behind. Too much pressure!
• "I wanna dance with somebody! I wanna feel the heat with somebody!" -- Whitney Houston
• I registered my car today (read: got new plate tabs), and the wait in the express line (TABS ONLY!!!) was actually far longer than the wait for the normal counter. My number was called for the standard slow service before I made it to the front of the express line. I'm assuming that this has more to do with the fact that the government is shutting down in two days so everyone and their dog was there to renew their tabs. But, who knows, really? I've come to believe that express lanes, in general, are slower than normal lanes. This seems especially true in grocery stores. Here's the way I figure it: It isn't the number of items being run over a scanner that takes so much time, it is the running of the credit cards. So, a line of a whole bunch of folks with 10-items-or-less all paying with they debit/credit cards actually takes longer than a line of people with a normal amount of groceries. My suggestion would be to make the express lanes cash-only. This would speed the process immensely, and make them express again.
• Are you hooked on facts? I know I am: "In Kentucky, 50% of the people who get married for the first time are teenagers. " -- I was born in Kentucky, and every time I hear another fact about that state I grow more grateful to my parents for having the sense to move away from there when I was four.
• Liz Smith of Cosmopolitan once declared the movie Benji, "The most entertaining family picture of our time. Maybe of all time."
• 4 days till touchdown in Madrid.

Nibblers: A Musical With Sharks -- Part 1

Joy Donley has had her share of Fringe success (Last year's Seussical was the second highest attended show of the MN Fringe Festival 2004). Her husband has done pretty well for himself in the Twin Cities theatre realm, as well (Michael Pearce Donley is one of the fellas who brings you Triple Espresso). One might think that putting a show together for this year's Fringe Festival would be a piece of cake for this duo, but every show has its little adventures, and even the most established veterans have to face challenges. For instance, when I first contacted Joy about featuring her show in my column, I mentioned that I would like to follow her company through the process of getting ready for being in the Festival.

"Ha --funny you should ask about the process of getting ready for the Fringe. My lead actor, a boy of 12 years, just had to drop the show because of severe panic attacks! There's nothing like having some drop out on the FIRST DAY OF REHEARSAL... But how weird is that?!" Donley has had her adventures set for her from day one with this show.

Really when I think about it, a guess panic isn't an inappropriate emotion to be dealing with when the focus of the play is SHARKS! Especially this week when there have been two major shark attacks in Florida that have made the national news (apparently 23 attacks is an average year, so a couple a week isn't that big of a deal, but the coverage certainly makes it seem so... not to mention, it's a pretty big deal to the 14-year old girl who died...but, anyway...)

Yep, this musical is about sharks. Well, really it's about kids who get left by their parents in Underwater Adventures at the Mall of America. The play started out as a story told to the children of playwright Brook Berry. When the Donleys approached him about writing a show, he took his story melded it with Michael's music, and here they are. Now, I tell my 6-year old daughter stories at bed time, but they normally don't involve parental abandonment and large predators. Not that those aren't good topics for children's stories. The Brothers Grimm seem to have done pretty well with both of those topics. However, I know my daughter and she's an unfortunate product of modern children's television which gets rid of villains in most storylines and deals with problem solving instead of good versus evil storylines. Needless to say, a shark tale is going to be something that makes her panic, too.

Anyway... despite the fact that my little girl would not probably join me at a showing of Nibblers, I am looking forward to the show. And more importantly, since there is no guarantee that I will get to see it, I look forward to bringing you updates over the next few weeks about how the show is coming together. This company is responsible for some pretty high quality Fringing since 2002, and this is going to be another top notch show. Call it a hunch.

Allright then... a bit of the random:

• Well, maybe not so random... To finish up on a thought from above. I am sick of what dic is doing to old children's shows. My daughter now has Strawberry Shortcake and Care Bears videos. These are shows from my youth. I have a very special place in my heart for them. The Purple Pie Man was a special favorite of mine when I was in 2nd grade (that's 1981-82, folks!). The videos now no longer have the villainous characters that were formerly part of the shows. That's just wrong. This is akin to when I was teaching for one of this community's largest educational theatres, and they were against the shows with the kids having any real conflict in them. C'mon people! Plot structure requires conflict! Beginning-middle-end requires the middle to be made of conflict, or you have no story! I have no problem with teaching kids that violence isn't the answer, I was raised in a Quaker household, after all. But it is horribly wrong to teach kids that conflict doesn't happen. For instance, the video Spring for Strawberry Shortcake involves a story wherein Spring doesn't come on time. The reason? Did the Purple Pie Man work some evil magic to make it perpetually winter? No. Some little fairy got lost. That's anti-climactic. Not to mention, because you don't find that out until the end (hope this doesn't spoil the movie for ya!) it ends up being a deus ex machina ending, and one that essentially negates the last hour's worth of viewing. Curse you, dic entertainment!
• One of my cats has taken to sleeping next to me with his front paws wrapped around my left arm. While it is sometimes painful, due to claw marks, it is cute as all get-out being used as a small furry creature's Teddy Bear.
• "Oz never did give nuthin' to the Tin Man that he didn't, didn't already have..." --Tim Man by America
• I listen to KFAN from time to time, and although it is a sports radio station, one of the things that makes me so happy is how little time Dan "The Common Man" Cole and Dan Barriero actually spend talking about sports.
• A fact please! Sure, here ya go (www.hookedonfacts.com): "About twenty-five percent of the population sneeze when they are exposed to light. " -- This can't be right. Wouldn't one fourth of the population being in perpetual sneeze then? There have to be more details to make this statement at all remotely true. Perhaps the statement ought to really read, "About twenty-five percent of the population sneeze when they are exposed to light and forcibly shoving black pepper up their noses." Or maybe it's a statement that is only taking into account a certain population, not the population of the Earth as a whole. So then it might read, "About twenty-five percent of the population of those in attedance at this year's People With Really Odd Allergies Convention sneeze when they are exposed to light." I can't fathom any other way that this statement is a fact at all.
• Only 5 days until I'm in Sunny Spain!

Tantrums, Testicles, and Trojans -- Part 1

With a title like Tantrums, Testicles and Trojans a show might be accused of going down the road that so many Fringe shows do: sensationalizing the name in order to get a somewhat depraved Fringe-going public to come in the door. It is a time honored tradition, really, and so I wouldn't blame Michael Shaeffer of Empty S Productions if that's what he was trying to do. However, upon reading the script for this show, it becomes clear that the title isn't just a bit of misdirection to get butts in the seats (unlike, for instance, last year's stinker of a show, Fringe Sex).

Before I write more about the show, I offer you the description put forth by Shaeffer himself: "Check out this one-man show of irreverent rhymes about garrulous giants, pot-smoking amputees, goal-oriented zombies, cussing circus clowns, and (consensual) dolphin sex.
Be naughty! Stay up past your bedtime with the show that puts the effin' funny."

Irreverent rhymes... Rhymes... That implies poetry...

Yep... Poetry. "Slam"-style poetry to be exact. I don't normally care for poetry readings of this ilk. In fact, due to the fact that one of my friends, Ari Hoptman, is closely affiliated with Balls Cabaret, I have seen my fair share of frumpy girls with bad self-esteem rapping out rhythmic rhymes about love and sex that I'm sure they've never had, all the while holding certain syllables out for far too long. Yes, that's my image of a "slam" poet. Throw in a bit of side-to-side action with the head, a conducting sort of action with one hand, and a bunch of rapidly rhyme words that all end with the "-ate" suffix, and you've got yourself almost every slam poem I've ever heard.

Now, I go back to the description above (and mind you, I've got the entire script of the show thanks to the graciousness of Sir Shaeffer), and I find that my image of what to expect from a slam poet is not contained therein. Nope. There's a reason this show is offered late night. It IS irreverent, and funny, and although it is made of slam-style poetry, it is more llike the spoofs of the style that Ari Hoptman's album Dang! features. I obviously haven't seen it on stage yet, but I love it on the page. Very good stuff.

Now, over the next few weeks I will be doing interviews with Michael about his process of writing this show, about getting ready for the Fringe Festival as one of only two late-night productions. And, I'll be throwing in little snippets of the script as well, so you can get an idea of the wit, wisdom, and general twistedness that you can enjoy nightly at the Theatre Garage once the Festival gets rolling.

Whilst I still have your attention, I thought I'd print a bit of Michael's biography, too, so you have some idea about the fella that I'll be featuring herein on Mondays:

"Originally from South Dakota, Michael has taught high-school English and theatre in Alaska since 1999. His previous Fringe experience includes 2002's Cramming Cassandra and Give Me the Good Stuff as well as 2004's The Cat in the Coffin or 28 Days in Pet-Loss Therapy. His play, Godot and the Ho, premieres at the Bryant Lake Bowl this summer. Michael has performed in Texas, Iowa, Kansas, Nevada, South Dakota, and Alaska. Locally, he has enjoyed the open mic poetry nights at Kieran's Irish Pub, E.P. Atelier's, The Blue Nile, and The Artists' Quarter. He's included some of his prize-winning poems for this summer's Fringe."

There's all that! Time to get chaos oriented...randomness, please:

• My daughter's wish for her birthday this year was for "peace for all the boys and girls in the world." That's pretty cool and quite noble for a 6-year old. It sure beats her first wish she ever made at a wishing fountain (when she was three). She said, "I wish for cheese!" I do have to admit that it was much easier, as a parent, to make that first wish come true, though.
• Trivia bit from www.hookedonfacts.com: "The odds of being killed by falling out of bed are one in two million." -- I'm not sure how that compares to the odds of other ways of dying, but I do remember that I saw a documentary once that said that the main cause of houshold injuries is falling. That makes me wonder exactly what the odds are of just getting seriously injured from falling out of bed.
• I'm late for going to sign my daughter up for her new ballet classes... got to boogie, so that's it for today's randomness. More tomorrow!

Why? Oh, Why?!

As a theatre person (read: actor, director, playwright, etc.), it is virtually impossible to see all the shows in which your friends are involved. That's fine. Everyone knows that, and it is accepted practice to tell your friends that you couldn't make a show because you were in a show (or, in rehearsals) yourself. That's normally what I have to tell my friends when I miss a production that they had invited me to see. However, the Fringe Festival is a time in which one show doesn't ever have exactly the same show times as any other, so time-slot conflicts aren't really a legitimate excuse for missing a show. It is even worse when your entire involvement with the Fringe is as a columnist/blogger/reviewer. That's the situation in which I've found myself over the last couple of years.

So, that means that I can catch all the shows that my friends are in during the Fringe, right? Well, theoretically, yes. Although my own show doesn't conflict with their shows, it is always possible that the one time-slot in which I could see a friend's show is booked with attendance at another friend's show. So, now I find myself in a predicament. I have to choose between friends. Which one is more important? Which one will be okay with being brushed off? Which one is in a show that doesn't sound like it will suck like a Hoover?

It's that last question that gets me into trouble. You see, I have friends who make bad choices. Continuously. Not all of my friends are lumped together in this statement. Basically only one or two of them. And those two lovely ladies, who I would die for, if need be, often ask me to attend their shows. I occasionally attend entirely out of support, but the shows are dreadful...just dreadful. So, when I get the invitation to see a show that they are doing in the Fringe, I look for whatever excuse I can to avoid having to take in another bout of oh-goodness-I-need-to-gouge-my-eyes-out-this-is-so-bad!

The solution? Whip up some charts and randomly attend shows according to how the die rolls. That's right. I avoid playing favorites; I avoid making choices entirely. My excuse to my friends is this..."I'm sorry, I don't know if I can make it or not. If the dice will let me, then I'll be there. If not, then I'll have to catch one of your other shows some other time." It's beautiful. It's true. And that makes it even more beautiful.

So, about this time last year I got a PDF file from the folks at the Fringe office by way of fellow LXF member Matthew Everett. Which, I've done again this year. I then compiled charts similar to those in Dungeons & Dragons books (or any other gaming book). Which, I've started to do again this year. Thereafter, I updated the charts once the Fringe program came out in the City Pages. Which, I foresee myself doing again this year.

Once I had the charts complete I rolled for my first show. Then for each show thereafter I would roll once I arrived at the show prior. Wow, that sentence was confusing. Let's try again... I rolled for the first show before the festival, since it didn't matter when I rolled. It was at the Illusion. I went there, sat in the audience next to the lovely Christy DeSmith (freelance reviewer), and rolled the die to see what I'd be seeing next immediately before the first show started. That was my modus operandi throughout the Festival. Get to one show, roll for the next. Lather, rinse, repeat.

That plan functioned pretty well, and it would've meant that I would get to see a veritable treasure trove of plays. 40 or 50-some plays, in fact. And the beauty of it is that I'd see some plays that I would otherwise not choose to see. And sometimes I would be surprised at the quality of what I was seeing, thereby uncovering a few unexpected gems. Unfortunately there were a couple of road blocks in my way. First was the fact that I was acting in a Fringe Show. That meant that I was unable to attend all the Fringe Shows I wanted to. Also, I had just rejoined the cast of Carmen at Theatre de la Jeune Lune. That took me away from the festival a bunch, too. Not to mention that I was just starting my gig as Assitant Director of Christmas of Swing at the Great American History Theatre, which was holding callbacks on two nights of the Festival. My schedule was a mess. I only saw plays in about half of the time-slots because of it being that way.

So, this year, I've got the charts going. I've got my d20 (20-sided die). I'm arranging for "Fringe Buddies" to join me on the wild journey. And most importantly, I'm not doing anything in August until after the Fringe Festival closes. I'm doing nothing during the Fringe but Fringing...and that feels good!

I'm even looking into buying a bicycle for the event. It's only been 10 years since I was last on one (not counting the fake ones at Bally's). Should be interesting. I'm currently trying to teach my daughter to ride a bike. Goodness knows it'll be doubly interesting having to re-teach myself, as well.

I guess that's pretty much it. So... Time for Random Bits:

• Ginger Altoids are a wonderful thing. I'm not sure if they are helping my sore throat, or not, but I want to believe that they are. I have an audition this weekend that's going to require me to sing well, and I need this throat thing to go away before then.
• I have four rolls of film to take to be developed. Since the advent of digital photography, it has become much more difficult for me to drive some place to have my photos processed. Of course, that means that I don't get the pictures as quickly, since I am procrastinating. At some point I think I'll need to switch entirely to digital. For whatever reason I have some emotional attachment to B&W film in a legitimate SLR camera. It's hard to let go to old technology sometimes. One merely has to peruse my collection of record albums on vinyl to see what I mean.
• From www.hookedonfacts.com: "One punishment for an adulterous wife in medieval France was to make her chase a chicken through town naked. " -- I'm not sure why, but that just amuses me to no end. What it accomplished, I can't even imagine, but it sure must've been funny to see!
• "There is bound to be some animosity in the beginning." -- from The American Animal Hospital Association Encyclopedia of Cat Health and Care, regarding introducing a second cat into a household...but when you take the time to ponder it, that statement holds true in so many situations.
• There are 11 days until I fly to Spain.
• There are 7 empty Gatorade bottles next to me. It is really a pain trying to rehydrate the sick on what is supposed to be the hottest day of the year. Aargh!

Well, Monday is the first of my articles about the participating companies. Tune in then for a bit o' fun...

Assembling the Parts

Rain falls heavily as what the meteorologist on channel 9 called a gust-shelf blows through. This is my first day in about a year since I've had a break from actively being involved in a theatre production of some sort. The Mandrake closed Sunday night. The run was successful. It made me very happy. Now I have two weeks until I make my way to Madrid. So, in my ongoing effort to make sure that I'm without a single bit of personal free time, I am starting to actively work on my column for the Fringe Festival. It's only 6 weeks away! Isn't that exciting?!

The only problem is that when I finish a long string of stress-inducing productions my body collapses into illness, and so here I sit/lounge on my futon/couch and suffer from the stirrings of a throat/chest malady. Nevertheless I am able to get something accomplished.

I have just begun to figure out my charts for this year's 11-day rush through theatre, but that's not the main thing that I'm working on currently. No, what I am doing is taking a little more time to write non-random things prior to the Fringe. After all, once August 4th arrives my days are fated to follow the will of a 20-sided die. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, you can check in on tomorrow's column explaining how everything works, or read last year's explanation...Click Here).

So... in order to have a little control of my pre-festival destiny, I've decided to do a weekly feature on 5 different companies as they ready themselves for the 2005 Fringe Festival. That means each week day I'll be doing an article on one of the companies, and each week on that same day you can follow the chronicles of that same production as they get ready to rock the Fringe with their shows. Cool, eh?

Without further ado, here's the five shows that we will be watching together as the Fringe appoaches:

1. Tantrums, Testicles, and Trojans by Michael Shaeffer -- Empty S Productions -- After last year's discovery that not all Spoken Word productions are bad, I have decided to tackle my other theatrical pit-of-dispair...Slam-style Poetry! Shaeffer is a Fringe veteran who is for the first time putting forth his own show. It is a late-night offering with saucy, sassy, and snappy parts. More on that Every Monday until the Fringe!
2. Nibblers: A Musical with Sharks by Brook Berry and Michael Pearce Donley -- Front Porch Theatre -- One of two musicals in the Fringe that involve large aquatic predators, this one is based on a bed-time story crafted by the Donleys for their children. Director Joy Donley has been producing Fringe shows for years, and yet this year is presenting her with new challenges that we'll discover Every Tuesday until August 4th!
3. The Mockery by Christina M. Akers and Jonathan Edington -- CMA Productions --this play is in its second incarnation. It is another musical, and one that will not necessarily be appropriate for the same audience as Nibblers. This one involves the King of France, an illicit affair with a mime, and made its initial debut last year at the University of Minnesota's Xperimental Theatre. Now it is longer and has a new cast... I'm sure there are other changes as well, and that we'll learn about them Every Wednesday for the next few weeks!
4. So Kiss Me Already, Herschel Gertz! by Amy Salloway -- Amy Salloway -- Amy is one of the people who converted me to enjoying spoken word events last year. Her storytelling is very good. This is a one woman show that Amy is putting forth. She's been busy all year with preparing this show as well as participating in other Fringe Festivals. You can hear all about it all right here Every Thursday!
5. Talking With... -- In The Basement Productions -- This is a play about 11 different women. Personally, I am all in favor of more stage time for women...2 reasons... #1, most playwrights write more parts for men, so it's nice to see female heavy scripts. #2, I like looking at women, they need more stage time! Meg Jahns is directing this show for the group that just produced my The Mandrake. And we'll hear all about their next endeavor Every Friday right here until the first weekend in August!

Okay, so that's the plan, for what it's worth. Sound good? Cool. Now, I need to put together my standard list of random stuff for you, and then I'm off to take some cold medicine in hopes of inducing a mid-morning nap.

Here we go:

• I got an e-mail from a guy who runs a language club in Madrid. Essentially the club meets every Tuesday night and provides people who chat in different languages a chance to try out their second or third languages amidst a group of friendly people. I'm thinking that I'll try that out when I'm over there. My Spanish needs work.
• Capitalization pet peeve: whenever the word "president" is used for the President of the United States, it is supposed to be capitalized. Most other uses (other than starting a sentence, or as a title attached to a person's name) are not capitalized. I was reading an article published by the Associate Press this morning that never once capitalized the word President despite the fact that it was talking about Mr. Bush.
• What can I say... i'm hooked on facts! -- "Dragonflies can travel up to 60mph. " -- Now they just need to learn the rules of the road. They're never going to get anywhere if they can't keep themselves off my windshield.
• Today is my daughter's birthday. We'll open presents when she gets home from school.
• Happy Midsummers! Happy Solstice! Have a nice day!

Quick Note...

Not much to report, nor will there be any random stuff today. I just wanted to keep everyone posted that over the next 6 weeks until the Fringe Festival, I'll be interviewing Fringe producers and directors about their shows and doing little articles here for your pre-Fringe information gathering! Hope that sounds like a good plan...

TTFN,
Chris

Three desserts!

Back to "Thirst Theatre" I went this past Monday night. IT has taken me a little time to write about it because I've lost my notes. It was an enjoyable evening at Joe's Garage out on the roof/patio. The plays themselves were all solid, and uniformly more enjoyable than the last time I went. But, that's the beauty of Thirst...It is completely different every time. Sure, you take a risk that you may not like something, but even if you don't you're having an experience unlike any other for a mere $10. Can't go wrong there. The highlight of my night (theatre-wise) was Jim Lichtschidle and Barbara Kingsley in a play written by my friend Dan Pinkerton. Dan is a very good playwright, and was one of the three fellas who orchestrated "Fast Fringe" last year. This little featurette was about a woman at a bar, who happens to meet a puppet at a bar. It was funny, enjoyable, and threw out little barbs at the TC theatre community, and that was refreshing. Not to mention when Barbara started to passionately make out with the puppet, I squealed with glee...yes, squealed.

Another show that sticks out in my mind is "Boys Behaving Badly" by Alan Berks. The dialogue was good, and the twists the script took were very enjoyable. It wasn't exactly a light piece, but it still provided good laughs. Michael Booth, one of the featured actors, was particularly strong. He joined me at my table afterward, and it was nice to chat with him about the whole of "Thirst," The Fringe, and everything else.

The Table/stage was set in the center and I was one table away from it. Surprisingly, at this type of event, the front row isn't really good seating. In addition to the actors, you find yourself watching the audience. An audience made up heavily of actors and playwrights, etc. So, I found my self constantly distracted by a really attractive brunette with curly hair, and a woman who had those fake streaky blond highlights. At what point did those come into fashion? God! They are hideous! There isn't a single woman on Earth who looks good with them. They don't look realistic, nor interesting. They are the equivalent of painting skunk stripes on your head intentionally. Blech!

All in all a good evening, although Joe's was out of an inordinate amount of stuff on this particular evening. In fact, every time I ordered something, it was something they were out of...So, after finally eating a meal of an apetizer that was my second choice and an entree that was my third choice, the waitress brought me all three of the remaining desserts (my first two choices of those were out, too!). The service was great, and I don't hold the selection thing against the restaurant, but what an odd experience that was, all the way around.

Now for something completely random:

• I just bought an Mp3 player to take with me to Spain. It's cool. Now I just have to figure out how to make it work.
• From www.hookedonfacts.com: "A frog can't empty its stomach by vomitting. To empty its stomach contents, a frog throws up it's stomach first, so the stomach is dangling out of it's mouth. Then the frog uses its forearms to dig out all of the stomach's contents and then swallows the stomach back down again. " -- Ewww...gross! I was at a party this past Saturday night wherein one of my best friends got really sick. She spent the last hour and a half of the party puking her guts up. I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am that we aren't like frogs, because then she really would've been puking her guts up. And I would not have been willing to hang around for that, at all.
• I hate mosquito bites!
• I just realized that there are 7 pieces of art hanging on my livingroom walls, and yet it looks sparse. I need to redecorate.
• What do you think I should have for lunch? I'm having a hard time making up my mind.
• "I bet you never heard ol' Marshall Dillon say, "Miss Kitty, have you ever thought of runnin' away, settlin' down. Would you marry me, If I asked you twice and begged you, pretty please?" -- "I Should've Been a Cowboy" by Toby Keith
• I got an e-mail yesterday from Gerald Fierst of "Mouth." (2004 Fringe Festival -- One of my favorite shows by far!) It was good to hear from him. One of the best things about Gerald is the amount of love that man has to share with his fellow human beings. Even a short e-mail (what, six or seven lines?) carries the feeling that he really cares about you. That's something special.

It's official...

I will not be putting a show up this year in the Fringe. The wait got to be too long, and we didn't get in. That's fine. That means that I don't have to try to run a production from overseas, and I don't have to committ 5 timeslots to my own show... That's 5 more randomly determined shows that I can see during Fringe 2005!!!

Speaking of that, I have 3 Fringe Buddies lined up already. What's a Fringe Buddy you ask? Well, that would be a person who goes around with me for one whole day and attends the same random crap that I do. It takes a brave sould to be one of my Fringe Buddies, but it can be very rewarding, too. If you're interested, and you're not criminally insane, shoot me an e-mail and we'll talk about it.

The show I'm currently directing, Machiavelli's "The Mandrake" opens up on June 3rd at the 4th Street Theatre in St. Paul. Should be a blast, I'd think. It's a good show with a stellar cast that has been a joy to work with. I can't even tell you how much I'm enjoying the whole thing. If you come, you'll enjoy it, too, I'm sure. Here's a link to the info... http://www.soulsofwit.com/mandrakeflyer3.pdf

Something y'all might want to be aware of, too, as it affects the world of theatre and specifically the theatres that are the right size to be doing Fringe Shows. There is a new theatre alliance starting in the Twin Cities to get everyone working together and more productively. We've held two major meetings about the thing, and it's moving forward at a rapid pace. It's exciting news that I'll keep you posted on from time to time.

Last Fringe related thing: I am going to be attending the June 6th edition of Thirst Theatre again at Joe's Garage. It's going to be a great night of entertainment. Join me there. It's only $10, and it's unlike any other theatre being done in town.

TIME FOR SOMTHING A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT:

• My new laptop doesn't burn my legs like my old one did. This makes me happy.
• Kermit the Frog is green, which I hear it isn't easy being. Grover is blue. I can't imagine that is much easier, but who knows?
• Thank goodness for the Bell Curve... I managed to get good grades again this term at UNO, despite not really deserving them. I feel that I should be personally thanking all the folks who flubbed up worse than I did for bringing down the class averages.
• From www.hookedonfacts.com... "Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously." How much hassle would one have to go through to inject nutmeg? It's a pain in the butt just to grate enough to make the top of the Egg Nog look nice at Christmas time, who'd waste the time to get enough prepared to shoot up?
• If you're in theatre, and you haven't yet, go to The Callboard @ www.callboard.org